


Just a Couple of Monsters

by MelodyoftheVoid



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Competent Zim (Invader Zim), Confused Dib (Invader Zim), Dib is So Done (Invader Zim), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, These boys need therapy, ZADF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:35:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22730335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelodyoftheVoid/pseuds/MelodyoftheVoid
Summary: A study in understanding
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Dib/Zim (Invader Zim), sort of - Relationship
Comments: 14
Kudos: 120





	Just a Couple of Monsters

Most people wouldn’t guess it, but Zim could be rather observant. After the disaster with the Florpus, he’d taken to noticing things. It was a valuable skill for an invader after all. He noticed that he missed the way his Tallests would answer his calls and that he felt odd whenever he saw the Dib. And speaking of Dib, today Zim watched as he tried to present his findings on some monster supposedly living in the basement of NASA to the blank stares and snickers of the class. For once Zim couldn’t bring himself to join in.

As much as Dib complained, typically at him, that hated his classmates and that he worked better alone, he seemed desperate to get them to listen. The outbursts in class, despite the ridicule of his peers, never disappeared. Never completely anyway. If even Zim could see that this behavior got him nowhere why’d he do it? Why would he think that the same behavior that caused him pain for years would one day gain him praise?

Why did that feel familiar?

_Dib prided himself on his keen observation skills, especially when it came to Zim. Each flick of the antennae, each scream of normalcy, he’d broken down Zim's behavior to a science. Since the Florpus, he noted that Zim’s schemes drastically scaled down in terms of posing a threat to the Earth. At most, he’d threaten to blow up the mayor’s building or hijack the airwaves to broadcast some subliminal message. The majority of the time though? Small pranks played on whoever decided to make the mistake of calling him short. Any time Dib tried to call him out on this though, he’d receive a forced sneer and the usual taunts._

_“Dib-Stink”_

_“Big headed fool”_

_“Dib-pig”_

_Obviously, something had changed, so he’d play along until he could get to the bottom of it._

_He always did._

The tension between the two rivals ebbed and flowed in a constant cycle. One day the two could tolerate one another, even teaming up on occasion. But it always returned to the bickering and fighting that defined them. Most of their peers had gotten used to hearing the familiar sounds of fist against flesh during lunch just as much as they’d adjusted to the fact that the two could sit down peacefully for 10 minutes without lunging at the other’s throat. 

Zim now could see the pattern in their dance and for a time it helped. This dynamic, this eternal battle, was all he felt he could count on and Tallest help him if he let that go. Sometimes, he liked to pretend that this could go on forever. The lack of contact from his leaders was making him nervous.

All of that aside, he stood before his computer screen as he tried to contact the Massive yet again. 

“Computer, I told you to call the Tallests!”

“I tried. Obviously, it didn’t work.”

“Well try harder then! They should have gotten out of that Florpus hole by now. The Tallest are able to do anything!”

The silence sat for a moment before the computer piped up again.

“I can’t find the Massive’s signal.”

“Fine then, contact the Irken network, stupid computer. There has to be some mistake here. The Massive is the empire’s greatest machine, you just can’t do anything properly!”

The screen then popped up with two notices from the central news hub: a wanted poster and an invitation.

_Dib stood awkwardly outside of Zim’s house cataloguing the fact that the gnomes weren’t currently trying to kill him. While he was glad he wouldn’t need to patch up his favorite coat again, this only added to his ever growing list of concerns. Zim hadn’t come to school for a week, some rare disease allegedly, so that either meant that he had a huge plan in motion, or something was wrong. Dib pounded on the door before he could think about which worried him more._

_“Come out and face me you alien freak!”_

_Nothing._

_Well this called for some desperate measures. Dib maneuvered his way around the house, double checking for any traps that Zim certainly laid for him. Again nothing. Cracking open the window Dib shimmied into the darkened house._

_“HAI MARY!”_

_Dib nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden scream from the hyperactive robot. Why’d he even bother trying to be stealthy, he knew GIR was like this._

_“Hey…GIR. Is Zim here?”_

_Dib hoped that he could get to the bottom of this before he ended up fusing to his chair again._

_“Master was yellin’ at the computer ‘gain! He said that the papers were fake!”_

_Despite previous experience, he pressed GIR for details. Maybe he could get to the bottom of this after all. “What papers?”_

_“Tehee I dunno. Oooh Angry Monkeys!!!”_

_And with that GIR ran off into the house, shrieking the whole way. Dib wasn’t quite sure what he expected from that enigma of a robot. Well he still had a job to do, and the world couldn’t just save itself._

_At least he hoped it couldn’t._

_Dib squeezed into the tiny trash can that led down into the depths of Zim’s lair. It embarrassed him that it took years of observation to figure out that this was the entrance, but in his defense his cameras rarely lasted a week before GIR ended up destroying them._

_After a rather uncomfortable ride down the elevator, Dib landed in a heap on the frigid floor of the basement lab. The echoing sounds of machinery nonexistent for once, instead replaced by what sounded like sniffling._

_Dib crept forwards, making sure to stay behind at least on pipe for cover. As his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, he spotted the hunched over form of Zim, standing in front of a screen. The tables nearby overturned with glass littering the floor in the fluorescent light of the computer. As he moved to get closer, cursing himself for not bringing a camera, again, the pipe he was using as a handhold came loose, sending him face-first into the floor._

_Well shit._

Zim glared at Dib, who honestly looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. Not trusting his legs, he lifted himself up with his PAK, hovering over the Dib as the stupid human tried to recover. Dib’s lack of grace never failed to amuse him. 

“Have you come to gloat Dib-stink? Come to kick Zim at his lowest again?”

The filthy human at least had the decency to look slightly ashamed. Good. 

“Look I’m sorry about the whole ‘taking advantage of you when you thought your leaders had abandoned you thing’ okay? I’m just making sure you aren’t up to anything!”

As much as Zim wanted to launch into his usual spiel, maybe add in a maniacal laugh for good measure, he couldn’t muster the energy. Not this time.

“Look Dib-thing, Zim needs you to leave. I am not in the mood for this today.”

Zim watched as Dib struggled into a sitting position, looking utterly baffled. He gestured to the screen that still read that cursed dispatch. not willing to look again he gestured to it. Dib’s features morphed from mild fascination at finally seeing more of Irken culture to abject horror. 

“Wanted: Zim for the murder of Tallest Red and Tallest Purple?! What? How!?”

Zim wrung his hands, still processing the news even after days of theories and denial. He wanted nothing more than to go back to Irk and prove himself innocent, but his attempts to call Irk were all blocked, and he couldn’t remember who the new tallest was. They weren’t his tallest.

“Zim was framed! Framed! The Florpus was easily avoidable! One of the crew must have sabotaged them! Or it was all a LIE! A filthy, filthy, stinking lie!”

It was all he could focus on; he couldn’t be responsible for 2 ~~(4)~~ of the deaths of the tallest. He was Zim! He was loyal! The best invader that Irk had ever seen! He was not DEFECTIVE! He wasn’t…

He crumpled to the floor in a resigned heap, the weight of the news crushing him. No, the writing was on the wall. He was defective. A failure.

“Zim can’t return home, can he?”

_Dib hated the fact that he was confronting his nemesis in the middle of an existential crisis. Again. He should be collecting evidence, but if he accidentally killed his dad in an effort to impress him that he’d probably give up on his goals with a healthy dose of denial too. He finally managed to get to his feet once his head stopped spinning literally and figuratively. Walking over to Zim, he ran through a couple of scenarios, all likely ending with a PAK leg through his torso. Well, the simplest solution was usually the best right?_

_“Listen Zim, I’m only going to say this once. Your leaders? Your leaders are dumb, you don’t owe them anything.”_

_Misty red eyes blinked up at him, trying to find any hint of a lie. With the confidence that Zim was at least listening to him, Dib kept going._

_“Your leaders were traveling in a straight line. They could have avoided it, but they didn’t. You never needed them, you managed to do that all on your own. Being the outcast sucks, but if anyone can make it, it’s you space roach.”_

_Zim sat for a moment, digesting Dib’s words._

_“Yes. Yes of course! Zim needs no one to take over this putrid planet or any planet! I will overlook the roach comment this once human.”_

_“That’s more like it space boy. Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without you”_

_Well he definitely didn’t mean to say that. With a roll of his eyes to attempt to save face, Dib moved to try and leave before a clawed hand gripped his wrist. Zim pulled gently as he cleared his throat. A low noise that sounded suspiciously like ‘thank you’ came out of Zim’s mouth before a fuchsia blush followed by a shout left him dumped on the front porch of the base._

_Brushing off the dust, Dib walked back home in a stupor, trying to ignore his own blush burning against his face. Well, time to never think of the events of today again!_

Once again, normalcy settled into Zim’s routine. The pressure of needing to destroy the Earth lifted off his shoulders, tempting as it was at times, felt good. The easy bickering stayed, Dib’s personality against his was a recipe for disaster at the best of times, but without the usual vitriol it felt more like a bickering due to mutual respect then hatred. 

Today though, Dib hadn’t said a word. The human’s eyes never left the window or the floor even when Zim threw at least a dozen notes at his admittedly only slightly larger than average head. What rang the most alarm bells was when he didn't even react to being called insane by Torque Smacky. He hated that accusation with a passion. 

Zim watched Dib stalk alone down the hall. His Dib never acted that way before. Dib was a fact of nature, an immovable object to his unstoppable force. This Dib was quiet, too quiet. All of the life drained from his amber eyes, empty and uncaring. 

Some small part of him wanted to ignore this, but he knew he owed Dib for helping him. He needed Dib to stay, not that he’d ever admit that. This was the only being in the universe that seemed to genuinely care in his own twisted way about him. 

Time to do what Zim did best: fix the problem!

_Dib hated admitting when he was wrong, this much was for sure. But just this once he hoped that he’d missed some clue, some sign, or that this all would end up being another one of Zim’s tricks. He hadn’t wanted to do the stupid DNA test for his biology class, it was all stuff he’d done a million times before verifying samples from various cryptid hunts. But no, the teacher insisted on ‘doing more science’ in class. Honestly, he was amazed that the school could afford the kits._

_Regardless, he stared blankly at the test, and at the percent match. 100%. That shouldn’t be scientifically possible, but it made too much sense. The files he sequestered from the basement lab only solidified his theory. It explained why his dad expected him to follow down the path of ‘real science’ while Gaz could do as she pleased. How his dad never once mentioned a mother. Why he didn’t care about him as a person._

_Oh god, he was just an experiment gone wrong, wasn’t he? A failed attempt at creating a legacy. Who was he even? Was he real? Looking back, his own behavior pointed to too many similarities to ignore. His obsessive nature and antisocial tendencies, his speech patterns, god even his body. He was destined to be Professor Membrane, but he failed at that. A broken copy that barely mimicked the original’s success._

_He sat in his room, staring vacantly as the light of the moon cast his room in a light blue glow. What was even his purpose now?_

_Before he could continue with that train of thought, a familiar shadow eclipsed the light from the moon. The scrape of metal on glass were the only warning he got before Zim collapsed into his room._

_“Zim?!” Dib realized that yelling loud enough to wake up Gaz probably wasn’t the best idea and lowered his voice to a harsh whisper, “What on Earth are you doing here?”_

_“Zim is simply… returning a favor. What happened Dib-thing?”_

_“What?”_

_“You expressed concern for me when I got shmoopy, so I will do the same. Then we’ll be even. Now, explain!”_

_Dib ran a hand through his hair, he didn’t really have a choice in this did he?_

_“Fine, whatever. I’m not a real human Zim. I’m a failed clone of my stupid dad. The only reason he’s kept me around is because he wants me to ‘pick up where he left off’. That’s why no one listens to me, they know!” Dib’s thoughts grew more disjointed as the despair seeped into his heart, “I’m just that big-headed freak who’s a disappointment to everyone! A science experiment gone wrong. I couldn’t even stop you half the time, the Earth never needed me, no one does!”_

_Dib felt his breath hitch. He wouldn’t cry in front of Zim, he needed at least one shred of dignity._

_“I’m nothing, Zim. So just, conquer Earth or leave. I don’t care.”_

It all seemed so obvious in hindsight; most revelations shared that in common. Zim couldn’t keep down the giggle that bubbled out of his throat that grew into full hysterics. Dib’s head shot up in indignation.

“You think this is funny space-boy?”

“Snrk- Dib, why do you care?”

“What?”

“What do those filthy humans even do for you? You say this is your home, but when have your efforts been rewarded? You told me that Zim could do anything without Irk, and…” 

Dib leaned in; eyes lit with a dim flicker of hope.

“And?”

“And you don’t need Earth! You are the same dirt child that stopped my ingenious plans! The only human, no, creature worthy of the title rival! You could accomplish more in one week than our pathetic classmates will in their pathetic lifetimes.”

Zim waited as his squeedlyspooch twisted into knots. This was it.

“What Zim means to say is, while you may mean nothing to Earth, you are… important to me.”

His confession was met with a dumbstruck expression and the reddest face Zim had ever seen on Dib. And that was saying a lot given the dance incident. And that time they had the same art class. 

There was no need for any nerves though, as Zim’s speech was met with success when Dib’s face softened into something more befitting him. 

_Dib grinned at Zim. The two of them really were idiots. Mostly him, but that wasn’t anything new. He wiped the faint remains of tears away so he could properly look at the alien in front of him. Zim looked fairly proud of himself, with that same fuchsia blush from before on his face. He couldn’t help the laugh that tumbled from his lips at the sheer absurdity of his life._

_“Wow space-boy, you sure do know how to talk to people when they’re upset.”_

_Zim preened, “Of course I am, I am Zim after all.”_

_The two lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, broken only by the faint whistle of wind coming through the opened window._

_“So, what now? If you aren’t going to try to take over Earth, and I’m not going to expose you, what do we do?”_

_“I thought you’d never ask Dib-stink.”_

Zim smiled as the Voot cruiser took off for the stars. What a pair the two of them made. Two freaks of nature, two defective clones, two outcasts of their people, two monsters perfect for each other.

**Author's Note:**

> So it seems my drive to write is just getting hit with a frying pan at random times during the day. Neat. 
> 
> Inspired by "Monster" by Dodie


End file.
